The Story of Stanley Abramowitz

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andydonner
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The Story of Stanley Abramowitz

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Fat, self-absorbed Stanley Abramowitz parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out of the car, a truck came speeding along too close to the curb and took off the door before zooming off. More than a little distraught, Stanley grabbed his cell phone and called the police. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, Stanley started screaming hysterically: “My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it’s at the panel beaters, it’ll simply never be the same again!”

After Stanley finally finished his rant, the policeman shook his head in disgust. “I can’t believe how materialistic you bloody jews are.” he said. “You’re so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else in your life.” “How can you say such a thing at a time like this?” sobbed Stanley, already thinking about a hate-speech lawsuit against the police officer for daring to speak so insolently to him. The policeman replied: “Didn’t you realize that your arm was torn off when the truck hit you?”

Stanley looked down in horror. “F_cking hell!” he screamed. “WHERE’S MY ROLEX???!!!”
A. W. Donner

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